I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
