Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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