i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
