Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
