I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
