You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
smell my finger.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
