just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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