well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
