your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
