You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
