At least make sure they are 18
Why
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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