I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
