so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
please come you make the beer taste better
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
