I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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