i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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