Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
