the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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