I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
