I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Michael Bay diarrhea
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
