Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
