she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
