Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
