Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
