New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
