I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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