Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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