Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
