Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
