I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
