You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
