I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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