He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm always down for nudity.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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