Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
