The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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