somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
