their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
