So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
