I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
