the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
