Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
