Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
