you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
