...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
