are you so shy because you have an std?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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