Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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