And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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