how do flat chested girls get laid?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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