Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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