We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
