its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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