the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my poor anus
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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