Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
