3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
