So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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