OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
MIDGETS
????
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
